GROTON, Conn. – On a nice Friday afternoon, student Layla Moody was appointed principal of Fitch High School.
After being unable to speak during the morning announcements, due to embarrassment, former Principal Matt Brown stepped down and told Fitch High School’s best Freshman, Layla Moody, that she needed to step up into his place. Layla immediately stepped up into his position and ended up changing lots of policies.
“I was taken aback by the request, but I realized that I had to step up and do the right thing,” said Principal Moody. “I am ecstatic about being principal of Fitch, and I can’t wait to make this school a better place!”
There were lots of rule changes after Principal Moody became principal; for example, the phone policy was removed, and students are now allowed to use their phones whenever they please. Students are now allowed to use the bathroom during passing time as long as they pinky promise a security guard not to do any bad things (vaping, getting to class on time, etc.). When students use the bathroom during class, they are now allowed to be gone for as long as they want and can visit their friends’ classes. Students are now allowed to use AI on anything they want, and the teachers are not allowed to give bad grades for it.
Students responded to these rule changes with enthusiasm.
“I am so grateful for Ms. Moody, she is the best principal Fitch has ever had,” said an anonymous student, “ I love being able to use my phone whenever I want, she even made it so we can use AI!”
(Editor’s note: AI was used to edit this interview.)
Teachers, on the other hand, are less enthusiastic about this change. Many teachers believe that a student should never have been appointed principal, but they can’t do anything about it now. Since then, teachers who are caught saying unkind things about the principal have to go through an entire gym class of fitness testing.
Principal Moody is the best principal Fitch High School has ever had and the youngest one as well! Ms. Moody has made Fitch great again!
This article is a work of satire. Mr. Brown is still principal. Please don’t shut us down.
